I have seen leaders who, even when surrounded by the most talented pool of people to select from, still end up with the most incompetent cabinet. They choose so poorly as if to broadcast themselves as skilled in doing and being so.
I have seen many who meet very interesting people, and yet their choice of a lover, partner, or spouse is arguably the worst anyone could imagine.
At first, this behavior seemed to puzzle me. These people have options and anyone can see it. But they somehow end up with the worst selection.
His cabinet causes every citizen to wonder, “With all the qualified men and women in this country, is this what he could honesty come up with?” Her friends love her, but they just cannot see the rationale for the man in her life. They say, “She’s met many people; we certainly couldn’t have imagined it will be him.”
And then there’s this organization that people cannot really understand. Try as it may, but it still ends up with the least competent employees.
You will give some people the best, but they’ll still end up choosing the worst of what is available. Look keenly, and you will notice that it is not what they are selecting from; it’s them.
The leader with an incompetent cabinet is a man of deep insecurities; he simply cannot risk the chance of anyone working for him outshining him. He wants them incompetent; he wants to eliminate the risk of anyone ever being good enough to mount a challenge. They are less skilled, and they are all, predictably, sycophants.
He gets his wish; there’s no possibility of opposition. They are all loyal, after all, what else can they be, they barely know anything else. But there is a price to be paid, and it is a steep one. That no one can oppose this leader of ours also means no one is good enough to serve him. They aren’t skilled enough to. He thus governs alone.
Citizens see his exhaustion, and they’d pity him if he hadn’t caused it himself. He governs alone, tires himself with every decision, and then he still gets many things wrong. He wanted control; he was insecure; he lacked the confidence needed to handle skilled ministers, and now he—and his nation—are paying for his insecurities.
She has never felt in control of anything in her life, so she wanted a man she could control. She just wanted to feel things weren’t spiraling out of control this one time. She is so full of uncertainty and anxiety about herself. She thinks every good thing slips through her fingers. She simply has insecurities about everything.
That’s why her friends know that this isn’t the man for her, but she’ll hear none of it. Her insecurities cause her to believe she cannot hold anything good. She wants what she cannot lose; she wants what cannot leave her. She says she loves him, but everyone knows this isn’t the case. She barely knows what to love or being loved means. Her friends, tired of her “Can’t you just be happy for me?” are waiting for this relationship to unravel. They know it won’t take long!
You will continue to pay a very huge price if you don’t work on your insecurities. We all have them; none is free of them. However, some get to the point where they don’t lose because of them.
Our fictitious Mr. Leader fears the possibility of one working for him outshining him, but this only leads to running the nation alone, and the outcomes are disastrous. Elsewhere, our friend cannot find and keep what she wants the most, because her insecurities ensure she will never go searching where she could possibly find it.
Some sabotage anything good that comes their way. They don’t think themselves worthy of anything. Even if someone tells them they are worthy, they don’t believe them. They go on to narrate many stories from the past; it’s like they enjoy belittling themselves. They will ruin anything good before it gets to a serious point. And then they will spend all the time after that mourning the loss of what was or could have been.
You must dig deep inside yourself and find the things that sabotage your causes. Feeding your insecurities is unwise, because they’ll only grow large enough to pose greater obstacles.
Spending lavishly to buy company will only win you fake friends, something that only exacerbates your loneliness. Your obsession with control is your undoing. You succeed in keeping everyone below you, but that only means no one is strong enough to fight for and alongside you. One day a battle you cannot win alone will come, and then you’ll lose because no one can be there for you as you frustrated their plans and crippled their growth.
In relationships, you think you want control, but wait until it gets you a partner so incompatible with you, and then you’ll know this isn’t primary school and you aren’t anyone’s headmaster.
Getting good things is already hard in itself. Don’t make things harder by letting insecurities cloud your judgment, contaminate your thinking, and cripple your strategies. Work on yourself; you will be surprised by how many people blame fate for things that have nothing to do with it.
You cannot eradicate insecurities, and no one is ever so good that they don’t feel insecure about something. But you should be aware enough not to be sunk by them. Don’t let what causes you anxiety already lead you to further losses by keeping you from what you are working towards. To do so is to suffer double pain.
True strength lies in acknowledging our vulnerabilities, not in pretending they don't exist. Patrick, your words cut to the heart of a universal truth. Insecurities, when left unchecked, are like hidden landmines—exploding at the most inopportune moments, sabotaging our relationships, and even our destiny. But the key isn't in eliminating them entirely—that's impossible. It's in understanding them, facing them, and then, with deliberate intention, choosing differently 🧡
my insecurities led to me marry the first man who said he wanted to marry me because i thought he was the only person who would ever love me. big mistake.