True strength lies in acknowledging our vulnerabilities, not in pretending they don't exist. Patrick, your words cut to the heart of a universal truth. Insecurities, when left unchecked, are like hidden landmines—exploding at the most inopportune moments, sabotaging our relationships, and even our destiny. But the key isn't in eliminating them entirely—that's impossible. It's in understanding them, facing them, and then, with deliberate intention, choosing differently 🧡
Insecurities can hardly be cured, because the truth is that they tend to stem from something real. If it wasn't so, we wouldn't notice them, and people's words wouldn't get to us. But they are the illness that if well managed, one can live a normal and happy life. That is why it's right for us to keep discussing vulnerabilities. With this, we can get comfortable enough to live with what we cannot eradicate. Thanks, Mohika, as always!
my insecurities led to me marry the first man who said he wanted to marry me because i thought he was the only person who would ever love me. big mistake.
This is a good illustration. This decision appears rational, but "because i thought he was the only person who would ever love me" betrays it's weak premise. Insecurities deceive us into believing we have fewer options than we actually do.
“You will continue to pay a very huge price if you don’t work on your insecurities. We all have them; none is free of them. However, some get to the point where they don’t lose because of them.”
I think this piece is well-peppered with wisdom Patrick, and I think it’s healthy and beneficial for everyone to be aware of what triggers their insecurities and how to respond to them. Also asking the key question: why am I responding and reacting like this? What is fanning the flame here, why are you choosing a certain response?
Our insecurities are a part of our shadow selves. The more we engage with them, the more we understand ourselves and can work on overcoming them (or at least preventing them detrimentally controlling us). Thank you for sharing.
Thank you Joanna! I like the questions you suggest here, esp that of "why am I responding and reacting like this?" It helps get to the core of the problem, aiding in unmasking a hidden insecurity.
We can work backwards, moving from the response to the root cause. With these strategies, we get to understand ourselves better, reining in any impulses that trigger responses we don't want.
Insecurities are natural but they must not govern our decision making. If they do, then we risk making the wrong decisions every time. Being aware of our insecurities and motivating them is a crucial step in becoming our best selves.
Welcome, Harun, and thanks. It's more of management, not cure, and we can do it. It would be painful to let what already makes our lives hard cause us more problems. Yet, in not working on our insecurities, we unwittingly do.
This is so timely because I’ve been thinking a lot about this. It takes a lot of courage to confront our insecurities and active work to release them. Just this morning I identified a few insecurities that sabotage my relationships. I’ve always been aware of them, but awareness is not enough.
Awareness is a good start, at least you know where the problem lies. I think you can overcome them if the relationship is worth it. Normally, the thing to be obtained has to be worth the work. This can hardly be said about relationships (romantic or platonic) today.
"Work on yourself; you will be surprised by how many people blame fate for things that have nothing to do with it." Yes indeed, Patrick. Back to the basics. Another excellent reminder, and good post!!
Self-awareness is essential, especially awareness of our insecurities. In my experience, when I aim for goals to try and fill a void within, disaster results. Life will never feel satisfying or happy if we’re constantly trying to mollify our vulnerabilities. Even if we manage to get what we want, we become neurotic through the efforts to maintain it. I think it’s important to do the inner work to come to peace with our insecurities so we can move forward from a place of wholeness. Searingly insightful article as always!
Thank you, Suzanne. I particularly like this point of not pursuing goals to fill voids. Goals aren't the answer to voids. Goals offer tangible things; voids touch on existential matters.
Voids - like insecurities - need filling by addressing root causes, not substituting one lack for another, thus creating an endless quest that triggers neurosis.
There is no way around the inner work needed, and seeking shortcuts only delays the much needed awakening. Thanks for this thoughtful response, Suzanne. I appreciate this discussion.
“This quote suggests that acts of cruelty arise from a position of personal and emotional vulnerability. It posits that individuals who are weak, either morally or mentally, resort to cruelty as a means of compensating for their own insecurities. The quote implies that strength, both physical and emotional, is linked to empathy, compassion, and kindness, while cruelty is a manifestation of underlying weakness and a lack of strength of character. Therefore, the quote suggests that by addressing and strengthening these weaknesses, individuals can overcome their inclination towards cruel behavior.”
Also mentioned here from 23:00 – enjoy the rest of the podcast and the series “In Pursuit of Clarity” by Asha Logos
• In Pursuit of Clarity, Episode #43: Elitism, Eugenics, Hierarchy and Inequality
It's always better to deal with strong people. The weak will succumb to their insecurities, and then they'll make terrible decisions that take them - and everyone dependent on them - down. They will overdo things; they'll overcompensate; they don't know how to show restraint.
I worked for leaders whom you describe in the article. They kept promoting the colleagues who admitted themselves they were not good enough. This led to people leaving frequently and company losing money.
They could see it, but they couldn't alter course, because doing so meant facing their own insecurities, and people will do anything - scapegoat anyone - to avoid facing themselves.
True strength lies in acknowledging our vulnerabilities, not in pretending they don't exist. Patrick, your words cut to the heart of a universal truth. Insecurities, when left unchecked, are like hidden landmines—exploding at the most inopportune moments, sabotaging our relationships, and even our destiny. But the key isn't in eliminating them entirely—that's impossible. It's in understanding them, facing them, and then, with deliberate intention, choosing differently 🧡
Insecurities can hardly be cured, because the truth is that they tend to stem from something real. If it wasn't so, we wouldn't notice them, and people's words wouldn't get to us. But they are the illness that if well managed, one can live a normal and happy life. That is why it's right for us to keep discussing vulnerabilities. With this, we can get comfortable enough to live with what we cannot eradicate. Thanks, Mohika, as always!
my insecurities led to me marry the first man who said he wanted to marry me because i thought he was the only person who would ever love me. big mistake.
This is a good illustration. This decision appears rational, but "because i thought he was the only person who would ever love me" betrays it's weak premise. Insecurities deceive us into believing we have fewer options than we actually do.
Wonderful insight on the invasive power of insecurity!
Thank you Caroline!
Insightful observations about the correlation between insecurity and poor decision making. You’ve given me food for thought. Thanks, Patrick.
Welcome, Amy, and thanks for sharing your reaction.
“You will continue to pay a very huge price if you don’t work on your insecurities. We all have them; none is free of them. However, some get to the point where they don’t lose because of them.”
I think this piece is well-peppered with wisdom Patrick, and I think it’s healthy and beneficial for everyone to be aware of what triggers their insecurities and how to respond to them. Also asking the key question: why am I responding and reacting like this? What is fanning the flame here, why are you choosing a certain response?
Our insecurities are a part of our shadow selves. The more we engage with them, the more we understand ourselves and can work on overcoming them (or at least preventing them detrimentally controlling us). Thank you for sharing.
Thank you Joanna! I like the questions you suggest here, esp that of "why am I responding and reacting like this?" It helps get to the core of the problem, aiding in unmasking a hidden insecurity.
We can work backwards, moving from the response to the root cause. With these strategies, we get to understand ourselves better, reining in any impulses that trigger responses we don't want.
Thank you for this discussion, as always.
Insecurities are natural but they must not govern our decision making. If they do, then we risk making the wrong decisions every time. Being aware of our insecurities and motivating them is a crucial step in becoming our best selves.
Very important message, Pat.
Welcome, Harun, and thanks. It's more of management, not cure, and we can do it. It would be painful to let what already makes our lives hard cause us more problems. Yet, in not working on our insecurities, we unwittingly do.
As always, beautifully written and powerful message. Thank you, Patrick.
Welcome, V.M. I'm glad you enjoyed it!
This is so timely because I’ve been thinking a lot about this. It takes a lot of courage to confront our insecurities and active work to release them. Just this morning I identified a few insecurities that sabotage my relationships. I’ve always been aware of them, but awareness is not enough.
Awareness is a good start, at least you know where the problem lies. I think you can overcome them if the relationship is worth it. Normally, the thing to be obtained has to be worth the work. This can hardly be said about relationships (romantic or platonic) today.
This is a strong reminder to know oneself and continue to grow each day. An important read!
Thank you, Daniel. Growth is impossible without knowing ourselves, and we don't if we aren't handling our insecurities.
Always grateful for your feedback.
Thank you for this insightful honesty. It requires deep awareness to do this work. Thank you for being the messenger !
Welcome, Sharon. I'm glad that you liked it, and thanks for this feedback.
"Work on yourself; you will be surprised by how many people blame fate for things that have nothing to do with it." Yes indeed, Patrick. Back to the basics. Another excellent reminder, and good post!!
Thank you, Jeanine! Yes, it's back to the basics, because we grow by taking care of the fundamentals.
Self-awareness is essential, especially awareness of our insecurities. In my experience, when I aim for goals to try and fill a void within, disaster results. Life will never feel satisfying or happy if we’re constantly trying to mollify our vulnerabilities. Even if we manage to get what we want, we become neurotic through the efforts to maintain it. I think it’s important to do the inner work to come to peace with our insecurities so we can move forward from a place of wholeness. Searingly insightful article as always!
Thank you, Suzanne. I particularly like this point of not pursuing goals to fill voids. Goals aren't the answer to voids. Goals offer tangible things; voids touch on existential matters.
Voids - like insecurities - need filling by addressing root causes, not substituting one lack for another, thus creating an endless quest that triggers neurosis.
There is no way around the inner work needed, and seeking shortcuts only delays the much needed awakening. Thanks for this thoughtful response, Suzanne. I appreciate this discussion.
Accountability ❤️
Indeed. Work on yourself first, and then you will be right for other things and people.
“All cruelty springs from weakness” – which is an attribute or manifestation of insecurity
• All Cruelty Springs From Weakness | Seneca Stoicism Philosophy #shorts - Ancient Wisdom
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v_6x5mH2-us
“This quote suggests that acts of cruelty arise from a position of personal and emotional vulnerability. It posits that individuals who are weak, either morally or mentally, resort to cruelty as a means of compensating for their own insecurities. The quote implies that strength, both physical and emotional, is linked to empathy, compassion, and kindness, while cruelty is a manifestation of underlying weakness and a lack of strength of character. Therefore, the quote suggests that by addressing and strengthening these weaknesses, individuals can overcome their inclination towards cruel behavior.”
Also mentioned here from 23:00 – enjoy the rest of the podcast and the series “In Pursuit of Clarity” by Asha Logos
• In Pursuit of Clarity, Episode #43: Elitism, Eugenics, Hierarchy and Inequality
https://ashalogos.com/podcasts/43/
It's always better to deal with strong people. The weak will succumb to their insecurities, and then they'll make terrible decisions that take them - and everyone dependent on them - down. They will overdo things; they'll overcompensate; they don't know how to show restraint.
Thank you for these resources, Julius.
“You will continue to pay a very huge price if you don’t work on your insecurities.”
Thank you for this timely piece. Very much needed!🙌🏾
Welcome, Odi, and thanks for this.
I worked for leaders whom you describe in the article. They kept promoting the colleagues who admitted themselves they were not good enough. This led to people leaving frequently and company losing money.
They could see it, but they couldn't alter course, because doing so meant facing their own insecurities, and people will do anything - scapegoat anyone - to avoid facing themselves.