A reminder, we don't need to change who we are to be loved or valued.
Two questions I ask often, now , Who in my life shows up for me consistently, even when it's not easy for them? and Who accepts and values me just as I am, without asking me to be different? Go a long way.
Kudo's to your grandmother, that is unconditional love.
The right people will choose us as we are, without asking us to become someone else.
Thank you for sharing this insightful and reflective essay , Patrick.
Two very crucial questions, Tinashe. We should find these people and be true to them; we want to be there for them as they'll be for us.
My grandmother has since passed on, she was old even at that time (2014). But you are right, she was a good person, one I learned many things from, including the true meaning of unconditional love.
Thanks for these thoughts, always grateful for your takes.
Sol, these questions have helped me focus on genuine relationships.
I have become more aware of who truly supports and accepts me. As a result, I have strengthened bonds with those who value me as I am and let go of relationships that required me to change fundamentally.
Wow. What an excellent post, Patrick! We must learn to see our nose in front of our face rather than pine for what we wish for things to be. The number one I took away was re hesitation—you’re so right, it’s just a stalling point for ‘no.’ Good reminder!
This is great!!! Reminds of I think Oscar Wilde? “ Never fall in love with anyone who thinks you’re ordinary.” I guess turning that around it could also be said never treat anyone as if they are ordinary. Sometimes you wish people wouldn’t choose you that’s another side. I like what you said about those you do choose you aren’t waiting for you to be different. I am usually always pleasantly surprised by people because I try not to have any expectations of them and I choose to them the benefit of the doubt. Thanks
Thank you, Holly; you certainly know how to do it right. Let's be surprised when others end up becoming great - we wish them greatness.
However, we're just people. We shouldn't have to be anything to be chosen; we shouldn't demand that others be something in particular for us to choose them.
What they are is great already, and what they'll ever be only enhances what's already great in them.
So true! If we could see each other the way God sees us and recognize the Christ in each other imagine how glorious that would be. Have a good night friend!
Thank you friend. It is easy to talk about but for me very hard to put into practice when the guy next to me has bad breath or BO or the kid is just totally disrespectful I want to say yuck or are you really talking to me like that??!! Lord have mercy constant struggle with our own egos I think. God bless us all everyone one
In the past, I've spent too much time in the past worrying about what others think. Funnily it is especially those who seemed indifferent to me. Now, I realize that this was a futile effort. Those who appreciate me for who I am aren't waiting for me to become someone else. They accept me as I am, flaws and all.
Do you choose yourself ? :) if you choose yourself then it doesnt matter who chooses you or not. But I totally agree that its very easy to know where you stand in someone’s life, nobody is busy for those they love and care.
I agree. In fact, choosing yourself will often lead to radiating the aura that will make others choose you. Either way, to choose oneself is to have won.
love this 🩵🙏🏻 the feeling of being chosen is such medicine and nourishment. may we all let ourselves be chosen and receive that love, and may we be strong enough to give it too.
Needed to read this and look around. There indeed are people who are not waiting for you to become anything. They choose you here and now, in your big and small moments. It is you they choose not your qualifications and assets, you. Thank you Patrick. ❤️
A reminder, we don't need to change who we are to be loved or valued.
Two questions I ask often, now , Who in my life shows up for me consistently, even when it's not easy for them? and Who accepts and values me just as I am, without asking me to be different? Go a long way.
Kudo's to your grandmother, that is unconditional love.
The right people will choose us as we are, without asking us to become someone else.
Thank you for sharing this insightful and reflective essay , Patrick.
Two very crucial questions, Tinashe. We should find these people and be true to them; we want to be there for them as they'll be for us.
My grandmother has since passed on, she was old even at that time (2014). But you are right, she was a good person, one I learned many things from, including the true meaning of unconditional love.
Thanks for these thoughts, always grateful for your takes.
Tinashe, those are powerful questions to reflect on.
How have these questions influenced your relationships and the way you choose who to keep close in your life?
Sol, these questions have helped me focus on genuine relationships.
I have become more aware of who truly supports and accepts me. As a result, I have strengthened bonds with those who value me as I am and let go of relationships that required me to change fundamentally.
Thank you Tinashe.
Wow. What an excellent post, Patrick! We must learn to see our nose in front of our face rather than pine for what we wish for things to be. The number one I took away was re hesitation—you’re so right, it’s just a stalling point for ‘no.’ Good reminder!
Thank you, Jeanine. Always happy to hear your reflection. I'm glad this part particularly resonated.
This is great!!! Reminds of I think Oscar Wilde? “ Never fall in love with anyone who thinks you’re ordinary.” I guess turning that around it could also be said never treat anyone as if they are ordinary. Sometimes you wish people wouldn’t choose you that’s another side. I like what you said about those you do choose you aren’t waiting for you to be different. I am usually always pleasantly surprised by people because I try not to have any expectations of them and I choose to them the benefit of the doubt. Thanks
Thank you, Holly; you certainly know how to do it right. Let's be surprised when others end up becoming great - we wish them greatness.
However, we're just people. We shouldn't have to be anything to be chosen; we shouldn't demand that others be something in particular for us to choose them.
What they are is great already, and what they'll ever be only enhances what's already great in them.
So true! If we could see each other the way God sees us and recognize the Christ in each other imagine how glorious that would be. Have a good night friend!
Indeed, Holly. It would be glorious. Have a good night too my friend.
Beautiful perspective Holly
Thank you friend. It is easy to talk about but for me very hard to put into practice when the guy next to me has bad breath or BO or the kid is just totally disrespectful I want to say yuck or are you really talking to me like that??!! Lord have mercy constant struggle with our own egos I think. God bless us all everyone one
Tremendous essay, Patrick! To be chosen by someone is one of the greatest feelings in the world.
Thank you, Harun. I agree, and we know it because we've experienced it.
Unconditional support ❤️
Indeed, Paolo. When we support them, we just do.
In the past, I've spent too much time in the past worrying about what others think. Funnily it is especially those who seemed indifferent to me. Now, I realize that this was a futile effort. Those who appreciate me for who I am aren't waiting for me to become someone else. They accept me as I am, flaws and all.
Strangely, it's always those who care the least that make us worry the most. Thanks for this reflection, Os.
Love this piece. Thank you
So glad that you do, Nicole, and thank you, too.
Do you choose yourself ? :) if you choose yourself then it doesnt matter who chooses you or not. But I totally agree that its very easy to know where you stand in someone’s life, nobody is busy for those they love and care.
I agree. In fact, choosing yourself will often lead to radiating the aura that will make others choose you. Either way, to choose oneself is to have won.
Lovely post! Thank you!
Welcome, Katerina, and thank you too.
This is a perfect of example of choosing, it’s a sacrifice but a good one. I love this 🫶🏾
Welcome, Lynelle, and thanks for choosing to be here!
“And you, while mistaken, imagine that they’d change their mind if you did this or that other thing.” So relatable. I loved your whole post.
Thank you, Pallavi. So glad you loved it.
A poetically poised view on relationships
Thank you, Martha. (I see the name of your publication, hoping can still call you this. If not, please tell me what name to use.)
I am not Martha! 😆 No seriously Martha is fine. I could!’t find a better pseudonym than the application of not being.
Needed to hear this today, thank you.
Welcome, Lori, and thank you too.
love this 🩵🙏🏻 the feeling of being chosen is such medicine and nourishment. may we all let ourselves be chosen and receive that love, and may we be strong enough to give it too.
Amen to that, Tara. May we find this medicine and nourishment.
Needed to read this and look around. There indeed are people who are not waiting for you to become anything. They choose you here and now, in your big and small moments. It is you they choose not your qualifications and assets, you. Thank you Patrick. ❤️
Totally agree, OMO. These just see you, which is how things should be. Glad that the post is just what you needed.
Beautiful
Welcome, and thanks, Aa.