Selected Meditations
Staying in the game, not expecting answers too soon, why dreams are lonely, and resilience lessons from the African wild dog
Stay In the Game
Most of the time, if you ever take a break from something, you won’t return. This is both good and bad news.
The good news is that your opportunity costs may have been higher. In taking some time off, you assess and evaluate things, and you reorient energy and action towards those other things that are more valuable to you. In this way, it is right to never return—even here on Substack.
It could also be that you had taken on too much, overheating, or becoming overwhelmed, and thus needed a break. Here, the only solution is to drop some things. These will inevitably be axed.
But there is a way of not returning that should worry you. Some don’t think all the way before entering action, and thus start what they will inevitably quit, either because it doesn’t make sense to keep going or because they are prone to distraction. Others, coming from inertia, cannot overcome the inevitable initial resistance that doing anything entails.
There are no right or wrong answers when it comes to stepping back from something, just ensure you remain true to yourself. Normally, if you find yourself rethinking something or having to justify doing it, you won’t sustain action for long, and you won’t return after a short break.
Leave if your time is best utilized elsewhere, plow through resistance if the problem is inertia, and learn quickly on the job if it’s your pace that’s the problem. Also, if it’s the type of race where you don’t stand a chance, admit it, too. There are many other things where you do.
Events and Lessons
Some suffer more than they should because they want answers too soon. A relationship ends, and you are obsessed with, “Was I the problem; was I not good enough?” A job ends, and you keep wondering if you are just the employee who couldn’t skill up quickly enough to keep up with the requirements of your profession. Someone dies—a parent, child, friend—and you want answers to why it happened. You want them this year, and when you don’t gain closure, your grief only intensifies.
You will come to terms with some, but not all things. Answers to these things take time, and you are suffering doubly by expecting explanations and clarity that no one can give you, at least not as soon as you want them.
With time, you will know why that relationship or marriage ended; you will also know why that job was lost. There are no answers regarding death, but, with time, you’ll learn to accept the eventualities you cannot prevent.
Initially, there’s only things happening. Those who’ve arrived at answers didn’t do so immediately. You, too, will get to yours. However, don’t be restless because they appear to be taking time. You have the events of the past to learn from. As for what is happening or has happened recently, there can only be feelings—for now. Lessons are rational, and reason trails emotion.
The wise just started much earlier, reflecting on older events. Even they struggle with present events, and they are bewildered, just like you.
The Loneliness of Dreams
When you start doing something, when you pivot towards something, you’ll initially get significant support from those who traditionally support you; they will be excited for you. However, something will happen as time goes by: their support will wane; they’ll fade into the background. Yes, they still support you, but they are now not as enthusiastic. They have their own lives, too.
Your dreams are yours to nurture, their importance and necessity only known to you. It is you to stick with them; it’s you to protect and preserve them. It’s you who’ll lose if they aren’t actualized. Others will just tell you, “I’m sorry things didn’t work out.” They are sorry, but they don’t feel the loss as you do.
Understand: you don’t quit because others stopped supporting you, you quit because you stopped after they did.
You lost hope because you were initially misguided about how much support there ever would be. There usually isn’t much, because the cost of your dreams isn’t other people’s to bear. They won’t abandon you, but they also won’t be there cheering you on like a toddler learning to walk. It’s not just lonely at the top, the loneliness begins as soon as your ascent commences.
Your life is your business; the cost of your dreams is yours to bear. Even when supportive, others may not understand what you are doing well enough to support you the way you want.
Last Long
The lion, the king of the jungle, has a hunting success rate of 27-34%. Even the revered strategy of stealth, speed, and power cannot help this mighty beast, and most of its hunts will end in failure. The cheetah can outrun any prey, but the lightness that enables this also denies it power, and this speed master will struggle to strangle the meal of its dream, killing in no more than 50% of its hunts.
Other ambush predators like the leopard and the tiger do even worse. But there is one animal that is almost sure of a feast anytime it’s out on a prowl: the African wild dog. This marathoner of the savanna kills in 60-90% of all hunts, easily recording steady rates of 80%.
Wild dogs have a simple hunting strategy: chase the prey to exhaustion. They are not speed demons; they don’t do ambush. They don’t rely on luck. They chase an impala to exhaustion, then eat it alive, preferring the meal so fresh that they eat before killing.
The strong, the fast, the clever, and those skilled in ambush are no match for this small beast that simply doesn’t tire from the chase.
All tricks have their limits. If you want to feast in this grassland, you have to last long like a pack of wild dogs. In the long run, the only foolproof strategy is outlasting what you must deal with in the pursuit of your goals.
I'm once again inspired by your wisdom, Patrick. Thank you for putting these ideas into words and making us all stop and think for a moment or two!
Beautifully written and advice worth noting.