What People Want
Compromise is short-term; people want what they want, and they’ll betray you if you cannot give it to them
Jimmy is just a relaxed and quiet guy. After work, he likes to sit alone in his study, perhaps meditating or planning for the future. His wife wishes he spent more time with her and the children and helped with the household chores. But she also understands; he’s always been like this. His mind is hard to read; it’s hard to know what he’s really thinking.
Quest Republic isn’t the typical belligerent nation. However, for some time, its prime minister has fantasized about annexing its neighbor to the east. But this PM has heeded the advice of Sue Hatari, the nation’s powerful and respected foreign minister. “We cannot get away with it,” Hatari once warned the PM, “we’ll be ostracized; we’ll end up with no allies; our economy will collapse under sanctions!”
This prime minister has territorial ambitions, but he doesn’t want to subject his people to unnecessary suffering.
I use these two hypothetical examples to show cases where people are willing to understand, show consideration, and compromise. But these illustrations are incomplete: the full story is that Jimmy’s marriage will end and the prime minister of Quest Republic will proceed with the annexation.
People’s willingness to understand and compromise doesn’t mean they stop wanting what they want. In the end, people just want what they want. They may be considerate, they may understand why they cannot get it; they may even genuinely not want to hurt the one who cannot give it to them. But this doesn’t change their underlying logic; they don’t and will not change, and they certainly won’t do it for you.
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