Many people start writing as a way of processing their emotions and experiences; they write to make sense of their realities. That is why journaling is popular. This writing is generally a form of catharsis. It has its importance, but even more important is its limits.
At a personal level, some people write well. They dig deep and even succeed at knowing more about themselves, but they still struggle in the social realm. They find that they don’t understand people, let alone connect with them. Others’ behavior puzzles them, and they are generally confused. They wonder why this continues to happen despite the evident amount of work they’ve done on themselves.
The truth is that writing is a lot more than an exploration of oneself; it is getting to know others, and some writers just don’t get to that point where knowing themselves helps them know others.
You don’t live alone in this world; you interact with others. Actually, your well-being and progress rely on this more than you care to admit. It is good to know yourself, but it will not help you much if it doesn’t help in knowing the many others you interact with and sometimes depend on.
You can journal all you want, relishing the revelations and clarity that come from doing so, but you still have to know your spouse if your marriage is to work. Yes, you are self-aware, but there are countless other employees in your workplace. Their behavior will continue to puzzle you—even undermine your ascent—if you don’t get to know them.
And if you will ever desire public leadership, good luck if you hope to succeed without an understanding of human nature. Actually, you may have to wear so many masks and personas that who you are almost doesn’t matter.
I have read essays where someone talks about themselves from the first sentence to the last. No matter what you may have heard, and as much as people like you writing to know yourself, they are reading for themselves. They want to know what in your life story makes sense to them.
Some people know themselves, but others know themselves in a way that they can write things that make sense to others. These two types are not the same. All writing is selfish; we write to explore ourselves. Still, some get to a point where this selfishness leads to an understanding of others. In this way, even as they write for themselves, they write for others.
Writing isn’t just an exercise in catharsis; it is more than ranting, venting, and pouring one’s heart out. It is the communication of thoughts and observations in a way that makes sense to a distant observer. With this, you show that you’ve interpreted experiences, not just gone through them.
Writing that is nothing more than “this is what I went through; it’s what I feel” is like news reporting or raw data. People will see it, but then they may not know what to think of it, and then they will forget it.
Personal writing is a preliminary type of writing. Process your emotions and thoughts with journaling, then structure your writing in a way that makes sense even to those not familiar with the matter you are talking about. Look around you, the people you find useful are those who speak in a way that causes you to feel that they understand you. Where do you think this understanding comes from?
Your therapist listens to you and suggests a solution that works for you. Politicians make policy that makes sense to voters. Good writers write things that readers can see themselves in. First, we focus on ourselves, and then we focus on others. We are first selfish, and then we get to know others to the point where things progress to service.
“But… I’m doing this for me; I’m writing to process my pain,” you will rightly object. My rebuttal is in where I began this essay. You can know yourself 100%, but you are just one person in this relationship. You are but one employee in this firm, and you are definitely just one voter in this democracy.
With the illumination of journaling, you will know others to the extent they’re like you, and then you won’t to the degree they aren’t, which is huge.
Processing your emotions and experiences is good, and doing it publicly is even more courageous. But far too many people erroneously exaggerate the difference this can make in ushering in understanding—of themselves and others. At times, they get frustrated when this work doesn’t appear to lead to a better understanding of people and things.
Events are given meaning by interpretation. Otherwise, it is as if they didn’t happen. This is so for personal experiences as well. The point should be to go beyond their documentation. There will always be a difference between writing that is mere documentation of events and experiences and another that interprets them in a way that makes sense to a broader audience.
As writers, we should write what we want. We should also acknowledge what our writing is and isn’t.
Absolutely! Writing to understand yourself is just the first step and if you reach to that point it's worth it.
But if one wants to truly make a difference, you have to get to know and understand others. Its about serving and contribute to others on a broader sense in a way that you would want for yourself.
As always very thoughtful. Thank you for sharing.
I read a sentence there and you sounded like Prime Friedrich Nietzsche...
"We are unknown to ourselves, we knowers" - On the Geneology of Morals