How to Be Interesting

Some actionable strategies

Photo by israel palacio on Unsplash

In conversations with some people (online and offline), the subject of how to be more interesting has come up. I’m not the most interesting person you’ll meet, but those I interact with do find me sufficiently interesting. As I reflect on this, and as we desire to be more interesting—or at least less boring—I share these tips on how anyone can provide the type of company that can be enjoyed.

Talk Less, Listen More

This is an obvious one, but it cannot be overemphasized. To be interesting, you must be interested in others; they must have the space to express themselves while with you. They cannot do this if you won’t stop talking.

Listen to hear what others say; listen to hear what is unsaid. People want to be asked what even they didn’t know are questions they have. You cannot get here if you don’t listen to know what those you’re dealing with want, desire, and yearn for and haven’t figured out how to pursue, express, or find.

Know Things

You cannot be both ignorant and interesting. You don’t have to know all things, but you should know many things. The trick is to know your thing and then be sufficiently knowledgeable about other things.

You should be able to discuss Trump’s tariffs, Israel versus Iran, the developments in the ongoing civil wars in Sudan and Myanmar, how young people don’t read much nowadays, why therapy isn’t a substitute for personal initiative, and why we should create more, just in case we are the last people to do anything human before AI learns to do it all.

Remember Things

If someone mentions that her baby isn’t feeling well, start there when you are talking with her next time.

We all like to matter; we want our realities to be seen and acknowledged. If you remember something specific about me, it means you cared enough for that piece of information to matter to you—enough for you to remember it the next time.

You care about me, which is why I will care about you.

While at it, just don’t forget people’s names. They want to know they are on your mind, and they cannot be if you barely remember their names.