Every Relationship Involves Settling
The mechanics of wanting and being wanted
“I don’t want those who want me, and those I want don’t want me.”
This is the reason why many people aren’t in relationships today. They don’t want those who want them, and they remain invisible to those they want and wish wanted them in return.
I have bad news for you: all relationships involve settling, and you won’t find one until you are willing and ready to compromise. You reject this premise because you simply are in denial about the details of wanting and being wanted, loving and being loved.
By nature, we want the best thing we can get. We look for this all the time. We want the best partner we can get; we want the best job we can obtain. This makes sense: it is irrational to want what you consider subpar or suboptimal.
If I want you, you are the best I think I can get at this time. By default, I think you are more attractive than me; I think you are out of my league. (I use attractive here to mean overall desirability, not just looks. I use it to mean …
