Thoughts Externalized
The price of thoughtfulness, why we deny what we don’t see, what abundance hides, and if we are good students
The Cost of Thoughtfulness
One of the costs of being thoughtful is that you imagine a lot of scenarios beforehand. You think many things, and while not all of them will end up happening as envisioned, some will. This means you may not be as happy about things that others are excited about.
Children are happy because many things are new to them. These things, however, aren’t new to adults, and it would actually be unusual if we show the excitement that children do.
You may be filled with joy if something happens at ten times the magnitude you had pictured. But many things won’t happen this way. Actually, by the time something happens, it’s possible that you will have moved on to think about ten other things.
What is new to many could be something you have thought about tens of times. The cost of being thoughtful is living the future (or some aspect of it) in advance, thus being denied the spontaneity and suddenness that awes everyone else into happiness.
But this you can learn to live with, just as adults see the excitement of children and don’t want to be them, no matter how they may claim to want to relive childhood.
What You Don’t See
Most people deny things are transactional because they don’t see the transactions. You don’t rethink governance if your government is working. You see paying taxes and surrendering some rights as normal, because it is if you get the public goods you pay for. However, if you don’t, you start evaluating the relationship, and when fed up, you revolt or move to another country where the exchange is fair.
Nobody sees a relationship as a transaction unless it becomes a burden, and then all of a sudden you hear, “I’m the one who’s been doing more chores, my needs are not being met, I’ve compromised on things dear to me, etc.” Now people are aware of what they’ve been contributing, and they are keeping count.
Everything is a transaction, but this fact needs not be known, for it is covered and hidden well when all parties to something are getting what they want. If people are discussing transactions, the thing is not working, and it’s only a matter of time before things fall apart.
From love to politics to health care and friendships, people will happily pay the price if they are benefitting as imagined, but they’ll quickly question the unfairness of an exchange (whose existence they had long denied, or at least chosen not to see) when they perceive the benefits to be waning.
There was always a perceived exchange of value, even in matters of love, just that nobody needed to know or acknowledge these things before it was necessary.
What Plenitude Hides
It is hard to govern anything—household, organization, nation—in times of scarcity. People, generally, are more hostile than they seem. However, we know how to act well and are civil such that these hidden hostilities remain concealed.
It is good to create abundance because of the many ugly things it hides; it’s good to maintain the lull for as long as it can last.
Stir up the waters and people are reminded of their races, tribes, and clans; they’re swept into a conversation about who is native and who isn’t, who earns what amount of money and what this means, whose ancestors did what to whose, and the many other things they had long pretended did not matter.
When the rains are enough, there’s plenty of harvest and people make merry. When there is famine, a mother may have to decide which child eats and which one doesn’t, and this may tear apart the family in a way that cannot be repaired.
When you are naïve, you think what people say and show is all there is; when you are a student of human nature, you want there to be enough food, because with that, it doesn’t get to a point where a mother shows which child she likes the least.
People don’t fight when there are no reasons to, but all hell usually breaks loose if things degenerate to a point where a fight is inevitable. Caution dictates that we do all we can to prevent such scenarios, because your perception of people and things will be irreversibly altered if we descend into hell.
Teaching and Teachers
One of the challenges with teaching is that those good enough to teach anything aren’t teaching, because they prefer to do it. To clarify, these can teach, but they aren’t instructors. For a student to learn from them, he must be good enough to learn through observation, not instruction.
Most good writers spend time writing, not teaching writing. The same can be said of clear thinkers and those who’ve mastered living.
It’s highly likely that anyone teaching anything isn’t the best person to do it. It is no surprise why those thirsty for learning and solutions fall for and flock to charlatans. And yet this somehow is justified, for it illustrates one who isn’t good enough to know who to learn from.
Caution is thus necessary, and the point should be to become a good student, the one capable of learning from those who teach without instructing; doers immersed in action, their techniques largely free, but only available to the observant and interpretive who continue to become few in a world where many are lining up to be spoon-fed.
Know where to look; know where not to. Even more important, know who’s worth your time. Learn from those doing what they teach; those whose lives demonstrate their teachings.
Know where to look -- indeed, Patrick. And one's time IS precious, so best spent on something or someone that matters. The idea of abundance hiding so much -- what an eye opener. As you know I write about failed civilizations, specifically, the ancient Maya. When the rains did not come, the 'classic period' which encompassed the majesty of their civilization fell apart, and slowly the cities were emptied--people deserted them, or died trying. I never thought about how important that abundance is to keep things status quo, even if it's just a fake-out. Great post!!!! Thank you.
You know I have spent this week thinking about the oppsite idea - the cost of indifference.
I guess sharing a dormitory can sync ideas decades later 😂