Ceilings
Everyone complains about the cost of living in their nation, but for things to be expensive, someone must be buying them at that price. If the government were to somehow effect policies that curb wages, limiting people’s ability to buy and push up inflation, we’d all complain. We don’t want things to be affordable because they are cheap: we want incomes that can afford them at whatever price.
This is more than just things and prices; it’s about ceilings.
I don’t want a prize that I can only win because everyone else is barred from wanting or competing for. You want affordability, but this is only so initially, for you care much more about how something is obtained. Capping wages imposes a ceiling, and no one wants an environment where what you want or can afford is determined by others’ inability to obtain it. You and I want a free environment, one where we can earn and afford things regardless of how much they cost.
We’ll be happy if the government tamed inflation using the draconian method of controlling people’s ability to pay, but only for a while, for that means our abilities are amongst those to the clipped, too.
People don’t just want things, they want openness and freedom to pursue them. You and I don’t want ceilings, even when they bring about safety, affordability, assurance, and certainty. We want freedom to pursue our aspirations and become what we dream of, even if we’ll never get it.
Controlled options offer the type of happiness that is no better than unhappiness. You’ll pay dearly for attempting to tell people how high they should fly, and they will resent you for even feeling that you can know this for them.
When You Care
There is a simple way of knowing if you care about a person, and it can be found in how much their problems affect you.
It could be a lover, sibling, friend, parent, or associate. If you find yourself thinking and worrying about their problems, then you care. It is good to care, and it is good to have people you can care about. Many people aren’t lonely and sad because they aren’t loved; they are because they cannot find someone to love.
They are full of love for others, but they just cannot find one to receive it. That you have someone to care about is no small thing, which is why you should make it known to them.
Still, caution is to be exercised, for what and who you care about control you. You don’t want to die of others’ problems, for you have yours to worry about, too. You don’t want to have no one to care about, but you also don’t want to care too much and get sucked into every crisis.
Choose where to care, and know that you’ve got only so much energy and bandwidth. Limit your exposure by curbing the number of cases where you’re so involved that it’s impossible for people’s issues not to affect you.
During Impulsivity
Impulsiveness is irrationality, but there is still rationality in it. When impulsive, when acting without thought, people are instinctively choosing something or someone—and thus not choosing something or someone else.
Later, when they say, “I don’t know what happened” or “I didn’t intend to,” they’ll be right. You, however, should not be confused.
The question is a simple one: in their impulsiveness, what or whom did they choose? That’s what they inherently want; that’s what they’ll choose again. That they aren’t aware of their choice doesn’t mean there isn’t one. There will always be a method in every act of madness.
What is natural just happens. It is why one says, “I can’t explain it.” What needs to be explained requires rationality. Most people aren’t rational, especially when it comes to things they want. If they must be so to do right by you, you are at best second on their list of considerations. And they will betray you, because they can only be rational for so long.
Complaining
People who keep complaining are privileged. This may seem harsh to say, but I can explain. First, it means that it makes sense to complain, perhaps because it does or can get you what you want. You cannot complain to family members about money if they, too, don’t have it; you cannot lament how your government doesn’t provide welfare if there isn’t any money to dole out in the first place.
Not everyone cares, and not everyone who cares can do something about our issues and problems. Those who are truly observant realize how alone they are, and they work to better their situations.
If someone asks, tell them. Don’t keep quiet about your tribulations. However, don’t burden people with things they don’t want to hear. Trust me, people are very good at not hearing what they don’t want to hear, no matter how many times you keep saying it.
It’s not that those not complaining don’t have issues to raise; they just know the futility of, “Look, don’t you see I’m the most tortured soul on earth!”
Care is to be taken, still, even when you can bully people into listening to you. You are losing ground; your space is shrinking. If you don’t change tact, you will lose everything, there will be nothing to claim, and even this privilege—the one of being in a setting where complaining would get you anything—will end, and then you’ll know the realities you’ve long been shielded from.
This week I’ve come to the realization that I care about someone more than they care about me. That sucks…but at least now I’m armed with the truth and can adjust my emotions and responses as best I can 🤍
Hey Patrick, enjoyed reading your post. I love the care part. Being an empath, mostly I always care. But I am learning to stop it to take all the space in my heart and mind. And also kind of developing the levels of care I do with different people around me. I think, mostly in all relationships, I am the one who cares the more than the other person. Is it normal to feel or is it some trauma of mine?